My parents live with me and Azizah (the wife) and have done for the last 2 years. They left the West Indies to go for an eye operation and start a new life and ended up staying with us in Dubai since.
I love them, but can’t live with them any more.
I told them by email yesterday (they are in the UK on holiday).
Will I go to hell for this?
I just don’t want to co-habit with another couple.
ANY couple.
They are coming back to discuss it all in about a week.
How do you tell your ageing parents to move out?
They are fit and smart and cool.
We just need space to enjoy each other and make babies.
My head is in bits.
Cruel to be kind?
Peter, Eugenie and baby David
I know what I have to do, but it still hurts like shit.
I used to play it to a decent standard when I was young, flexible and believed in so many innocent things.
In my prime, I was chiseled, fast as hell and could always score if the ball found its way into my hands (and I didn’t drop it due to the extreme temperatures involved with playing at 8.30am on a Sunday morning in Scotland and the North of England).
I started to lose interest when I went to University and started to DJ, chicks came easier and the rugby guys were, well, arseheads at the place where I went.
So rugby and I parted ways for many years.
15+ years later, a top bloke called Andy Pyzer (martial arts guru, libido legend and the funnist bloke with whom I have ever worked) invited me to DJ the Dubai Rugby Sevens.
We had a blast.
Andy Pyzer, Kev Scorah, Austin, me (obviously), Alan Ewens
There was a huge buzz at that time because the Dubai Rugby Sevens was proving to be not just the event of the local expat year, but people were travelling from across the world to attend, get boxed and then have no idea how they spent the weekend.
When Andy emigrated, I was asked to run the team.
My arse was twitching.
Big gig, tons at stake, could I manage it?
Did I want to pay my rent?
Well, I gave it a go.
Jeff Price, fat bloke, Ray Reid, Kev Scorah
There were perks to running the gig.
Like this…
Brooke and the Agrekko Dynamos
and this…
I hate my job, all those girls make me feel unclean. That's why we make them stay away!!!
But the painful truth is this is what we really got to see…
Girls Gone Wild? Nope. Girls Gone Mental.
and this is what burnout at the event does for the organisers…
Andy Pyzer, Brooke and Belinda had been living rough in a skip for years
and to us…
Jeff Price, fat controller, Susie Illyan & Kev Scorah. Cross the street to avoid these people!
So where are we now?
Well earlier this year we got to host the Rugby World Cup Sevens (doesn’t that scan wrong to you? Should be the World Cup Rugby Sevens?)
That was probably the biggest gig of our lives.
In the end, 780 million watched on TV with about 80,000 attending the event.
I found out a few days ago that the event was instrumental in getting Rugby Sevens into the Olympics in 2016.
Perhaps I was travelling (I was but NOT for 3 weeks).
I was in prison (I’m married – it feels the same but you can work around it).
My legs dropped off (I have got legless on several recent occasions but I probably write better when I am like that).
The simple truth is I couldn’t be arsed. I think I am going through my male menopause as I became needy after watching ‘I Love You Man’.
Very unlike me.
I only snapped out of it by indulging in a health session of watching ‘Alien Ressurection’ (not the best in the series but Ron Perlman pre Hellboy rocks in pure badassness.
and then some grot.
NO VIDEO
So there.
I am now back to normal and ready to continue my world domination plans.
Except, I don’t want most of the world – just the best bits.
I have also finished writing my books and will be giving you the chance to read it all first.
Especially if you want to stop smoking
http://www.stopsmokingarabia.com
I am seriously contemplating getting my hypnosis show back on the road.
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